One of the worst things in the world is to watch someone you love battle with addiction. When your boyfriend has been dealing with an addiction, you may not be able to help him. You’ve begged, you’ve pleaded, and you’ve cried. He’s not listening to what you have to say, and you’re overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, remorse, and sadness. Remember, you cannot save anyone who doesn’t want to save themselves, even someone you love. If your boyfriend refuses to get the help he so desperately needs, you have to do what’s best for your mental health.
Breaking up with your addict boyfriend may be harder than you think. There are a few additional challenges to consider, so check out how to get over a drug addict boyfriend below.
Addiction and Relationships
Being in a relationship with a drug addict will be toxic and harmful. Many relationships that deal with one addicted individual become one-sided. The addict is often in denial over their problem while you’re doing everything you can to get them to see the light. They may be stealing and lying to you more and more often and then gaslighting you to cover up their misdeeds. Their addiction always comes before you and often before any children in the relationship. Some boyfriends even become mentally, verbally, and physically abusive. It’s time to sever ties with him if you cannot get him to accept help. While it may be difficult to do, breaking up with your boyfriend is likely the best course of action you could take.
Break Up When They are Sober
While there is never going to be a perfect time to break up with your boyfriend, you will want to do it when they are not drinking or using drugs. If there never seems to be a time where they are completely unimpaired, pick a time that they are at least somewhat sober. If your boyfriend is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, their emotions will likely be much higher than normal. Your breakup may become more heated than you want it to be.
Stay in Public
Addiction often makes people act out in anger, especially with the ones closest to them. You may be wise to break up somewhere public where others are close by, particularly if you are concerned for your safety. If you have children, do not let them witness the break-up. If your boyfriend has been violent with you in the past or becomes violent during the breakup, call the police.
Watch Your Wording
Addictive behavior makes it very easy to point fingers. Just remember, addiction is a disease. When you blame your boyfriend for it you’re only making things worse. An addict needs help with their addiction, not ridicule and blame. Stay calm while explaining that the breakup is what is best for you right now.
Breaking up is hard to do. It’s often harder when the person is addicted, especially if there has been a co-dependent relationship between you both. Stay strong after the breakup. Follow through with your decision, no matter how upset your boyfriend may be. If you give in and go back right away, he will see that your words are simply empty threats. He needs to see that he has to get help before you will come back to him. Even if you do plan on possibly reconnecting, he needs to work on himself before that can happen. Don’t give in-stay strong during this difficult time!
Take Time for Yourself
You’ve likely had a rough few months or even years if your boyfriend is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Ending the relationship will likely be draining, both emotionally and mentally. Give yourself time to mourn your relationship and come to terms with the breakup. While it’s going to be hard, try not to stay in contact with your boyfriend during your healing process. You may even wish to get professional help yourself, from a therapist or qualified counselor. Another good idea is to go to a therapy session at Al-Anon. You’ll have a chance to talk to others who have gone through or are going through the same type of thing you are.
Call for Help Today
If your boyfriend is ready to get the help that he so desperately needs, we’re ready to give it to him. We know how addiction can destroy lives and relationships, and we are here to help as much as we can. You can reach us today at 833-820-2922.